Sunday, 4 October 2015

The Glorious Facade of Blame Transference

These days, one thing has become very evident to me. As a species, mankind is prone to this very short sighted, self damaging and fatalistic problem of blame transference. And it's done smoothly, gloriously, a face so elaborate that you will fall straight for it. It makes you believe, for decades at a time, that the problem lies outside.

Here are a few examples of blame transference:

- The glass broke.
VS
- I broke the glass.

- He hurt me, all men are horrible.
VS
- I let myself get hurt, I must work on positive preservation skills that make me stronger/more flexible without branding and alienating half the human population.

- She is so immature.
VS
- She is learning, hopefully, she will get there.

- Religion is the root of all evil.
VS
- what some people have turned religion into is so evil.

- She was so mean to me, she abused me all my life, and so I have a passport to spewing ill about her for the rest of my life.
VS
- She was mean to me, she abused me but I am learning to protect myself now and I will focus attention on what nourishes me for the rest of my life.

- This country is so racist.
VS
- There are instances of racism here but there's also good stuff happening. Maybe I can be part of the solution.

- This country is going to the dogs.
VS
- There are problems in this country but there's also good stuff happening. Maybe I can be part of the solution.

When you transfer blame, you make a generic, sweeping statement where the blame rests with a grey, shifting mass of ideas or concepts or groups that takes attention away from you. It also takes away responsibility. Along with the loss of responsibility comes the loss of power. You end up looking like a screaming, helpless human being who has been cornered into tolerating something offensive.

Which is not the case. It is hardly, if ever, the case.

Let's be a little careful with this thought process. Let's compose our sentences carefully. Let's think about the voices we are seeking in. And if you can use your voice to bring positive thoughts, words, deeds, then make it heard. Otherwise, silence has always been golden.