Sunday, 28 December 2014

Did You Notice? 2014 Is Coming To An End?

And while the year end crept up on me, I realised so much has happened since I last wrote here. Most of you who do keep track of this blog know that this space was created as an experiment. To count gratitude over things that invariably tend to go wrong because what you put your attention on, grows.

Just to remind myself,

- I reconnected with lots of friends this year. I am so glad I did, taking time out to meet people, making an effort to stay in touch with people that make me happy. Haem, Urmi, Reena, Andy, Shamika, Ramya, Maddy, Sadie, Poornima, Ashrita - you guys are precious. In so many ways.

- I stopped cribbing about how horrid Windows is and finally got myself an Android phone (again, what a relief!) and got a Macbook Air. Blew up a bomb but worth it.

- Got sick of wearing Indian clothes after a four year long phase of somehow, inexplicably converting my entire wardrobe to an Indian one. The casuals are back and the wardrobe is a healthy mix.

- Realised I was getting superstitiously dependent on things I wore - signs of being married - the sindoor, the toe rings, the Mangalyam - and in some corner of my brain, I realised I was scared of not wearing them because I was constantly told that if I did not, bad things would happen. How odd - I was never like that so why was I allowing people to condition my brain? So I consciously stopped wearing some of those things. All I now have is an innocent looking bangle, which I like and which does not get in my way. And the ring P gave to me when he asked me to marry him. I am glad I could break that conditioning. It was unhealthy.

- I started actively weight lifting! I mean, I have been doing it for a while but I got into hardcore training only this year. It did give me injuries on and off but you know, if you are gonna eat, you are gonna poop so it's okay. I know how to work with them and I am getting stronger everyday!

- I went white water rafting. I thought i'd hate it because I do not much like water sports but hey, I loved it! Would I attempt level 2 rapids? Hell yeah!

- I went para gliding again and this time, I leapt off a cliff that was 7500ft tall, and was airborne for thirty minutes. Wow! I do intend going back for an hour long flight soon!

- I ate lots of good food!

- I bought some very pretty bags and shoes!

- I spent a lot of time with my brother - this was not planned, it happened but I got to know him a lot more. Sure, we know our siblings but I did miss significant parts of his growing up years. Getting to know him again was good. He has grown so much and I am secretly very proud of him.

- I found this most amazing woman (or maybe she found me, but hey, how does that matter?) and I managed to spend some amazing time with her. I do not want to call her a best friend because that would be labelling. She is vitally important and beautiful and smart and I am more myself with her. Ramya, thank you.

- I have never really wanted to be a parent and often, it has been labelled as child-hate. Children are a lot of work and trouble and I do not have the patience for that sort of nurturing but I met a little girl who absolutely stole my heart this year. She's a star; quite literally! Tara, you are the most adorable child I have ever met and Reena, you are so, so lucky to have such a gorgeous child! But much as I love Tara, you are always gonna be the most gorgeous woman I have known. And I miss you like a stomach ache. How is that possible?!

- I went to a baby shower and did silly things and had fun and now, this beautiful, beautiful girl has an even lovelier daughter and the father? The father is an annoying git of an elder brother that I adore like mad. And I am so thrilled for him! So many daughters this year, so many evil plans must be hatched with said daughters to annoy their awesome parents!

- I decided I am not going to buy any more plants. They are like children - they demand care and it sucks when I travel and have to worry about them. And what's worse, I feel horrid when I have to pluck leaves from them to cook. I apologised to my basil plants ten times when I took a twig out for the leaves. And I almost wept when I took leaves from my curry leaf plant. I am hopeless.

- I quit a soul sucking job where my experience was not acknowledged, in words or in remuneration. It felt so good to say 'I quit'. I am now doing lots of things I love to do and couldn't be happier!

- I decided to go easy on myself, one step at a time. Excruciatingly demanding jobs? Goodbye. Extremely draining relationships? Tone down. I was always good at saying no. This year, I got even better.

- I bought a house with the man. We have a roof over our heads we can call our own, where we do not have to be what the world wants us to be, where we can be who we are and everybody else can go and take a hike.

- I started wearing skirts again! Yeehaw!

- I finally found the design I want for my tattoo - which means I am that much closer to actually getting one.

- I decided that if I cannot handle plants, I sure as hell cannot handle animals and that's okay.

- I saw some lovely movies. I read lots of chicklit. And it felt right.

I had a fabulous 2014. And I am choosing to focus on that.